Fear of Adulting

“I’ll never do that!” She said

It was summertime down at the community swimming pool, I was probably 11 years old. I was sitting on the bench with one of my classmates eating a snack and he said something about a blowjob. I  regretfully asked “What is a blowjob?”

He told me it was when of man puts his privates in a girls mouth. I was horrified!  “I will  NEVER do that! That’s DISGUSTING!”

He told me that when I got older and had a husband I would do it.

“I won’t get married then!!!”

Peep Show Hot Dogs

Memories…. Ahh, to be 19 again. Ummmm, No thanks….

I was 19 years old, dating and living witha 21-year-old man. He was a musician and we were renting a room from his band mate. We had lived there for about three months and we paid him our portion of the rent and electric.  One night our electric was shut off and our roommate was nowhere to be found. The next day an evection notice was put on the door. We found out that the  bandmate/friend had skipped town and that neither electric nor rent had been paid for our entire stay.

I needed a new job  so that we would have money to get our own apartment. There it was in the Classifieds….. Hotdog Girl. It was pretty good pay for back then $10 per hour, plus tips. I just knew I would make a killing in tips selling hotdogs….  here I am on my way to the interview for the hotdog selling job….. knowing I already had the job! So confident. I’m driving, and then I see it, the hotdog cart! I see the girl selling hotdogs that I have the interview with. And then I see it… Right next to it is a giant sign made out of old plywood….spray painted boldly…… PEEP 👀 SHOW $10

Yikes! It was right in front of a run down dirty strip club in an industrial area.   I was horrified &  must have forgotten that I was driving. Not paying any attention whatsoever, I turned  towards the parking lot not even realizing that there was oncoming traffic.  I drove straight into another car. I didn’t have my seatbelt on. It wasn’t mandatory back then. I almost flew through the windshield. I hit my head pretty hard. The man whose car I crashed into was furious. He was pacing back-and-forth and could not look at me or talk to me.  I told him “sorry”. Possibly ten times.

I walked up to the hotdog girl and said “Hi, I’m here for the job.” and then I laughed pretty hard. She laughed too.  This was before cell phones so I had to go into the rundown strip club and call 911 from the managers office. I  remember being  afraid to touch anything in that building .

The police officer showed up on a motorcycle he asked for my information and  quickly realized I was only 19 years old and applying for a hotdog job in a bad neighborhood….. in front of a strip club. He pulled me aside and told me that this was not a good job for me…. He told me he would come back and check to see if I was working here,  and if so, he was going to call my dad. ( I was still under my dad’s insurance so his name and phone number were listed).  I promised him I wouldn’t.  I was  traumatized.

My car was too wrecked to drive so I had to wait for the  boyfriend of the hotdog girl to take me home.  To this day, I think that story is still kept from my dad.

The Sex Video…Welcome to my dating Life

The Snapchat Sex Video……
I became friends with this guy on Facebook. After chatting for a little while (5minutes) we exchanged Snapchat names. He sent me a video of himself having sex with some skank who kept calling him “daddy” and saying “you’re so big!!!”  I think he paid her extra to say that.

He spanked her a few times. She seemed to like it. I ate popcorn and watched it twice. The footage was dark and low-quality. I told him I had a video for him and he got very excited.
I sent him a Snapchat of me using the man filter.
I looked just like Fabio.  He was quite disappointed, but still wanted to know if I was wet yet. I haven’t responded. It’s been months.