Super Bowl Sloppines

I would have went to Hana

I was at a bar here on Maui watching the Super Bowl, when a sloppy drunk guy (playing pool behind me)  hit me with his pool stick. I moved out of his way. I let it slide.

Then immediately he hits me with it again. I grabbed it, pulled it, and spun him around.  I got right in his face and I said “You do NOT want to do that again. Next time you better pay attention and say excuse me so I can move.”

He almost shit his pants,  apologizing over and over. The room seemed  to stand silent for a moment. I think I scared the girls that I was standing with because they walked away.

Last years Super Bowl was a similar story. I had a really bad bruise on my shoulder and this drunk guy standing next to me was hitting my shoulder every time the Broncos did something good.

I told him repeatedly that I had a bruise and to please not touch my arm again. He was so drunk that he just kept doing it ….. and then I Snapped.

I told him… “Touch my arm one more time …. See what happens.” This guy! The drunk asshole started laughing as he reached over and was about to touch my arm again. I stopped him by saying “Do it, and I’m gonna whoop your ass” He stopped with  wide eyes and confused look on his face and pulled his hand back. His friend standing right next to him said “Dude, I think she might possibly be able to kick your ass, you better leave her alone.” I interrupted by saying “Yes, I can!”

Sloppy Joe went and stood in a different spot😳  I think I’m a super easygoing  girl. Apparently my other personality is beast mode. 😝

What would you do for a blowjob?

Blowjobs… An even trade.

I was 30 years old and in a serious relationship with a 24-year-old man. I was talking to him while he was doing something on the computer and I couldn’t help but notice how long and beautiful his eyelashes were. I had an urge to curl them.

“Could I please curl your eyelashes?” He was 6’4” 260 pounds…..big tough guy. He immediately shut me down with a quick  “NO!” …

“Please? I really want to!” ….. Again…. “NO!”

“If you let me curl your eyelashes I will give you a blowjob!”

“Go plug in your curling iron!” He says😂😂😂😂😂

Memo to Females….. A proper blowjob can get you many of your hearts desires😝😂

His Fetish

I went on a date with a guy much younger than I. He was very good looking and we were getting along just fine. I did feel he was acting a little more than nervous though. He was acting the way all adult male virgins have acted towards me….. Strange and Awkward  flirting…. Weird compliments like….”You have beautiful hands” btw this made me immediately hide my hands….

He confessed that he had only slept with one girl that he had dated for a year. They broke up recently. Yikes! We ended the date shortly after that. I’m not trying to teach sex to a 25yr old man.

The next day, he texted me…..  “Can you please send me a picture of your hands?”  My reply, “You’re kidding right?”

He wasn’t….. The End

The Sex Video…Welcome to my dating Life

The Snapchat Sex Video……
I became friends with this guy on Facebook. After chatting for a little while (5minutes) we exchanged Snapchat names. He sent me a video of himself having sex with some skank who kept calling him “daddy” and saying “you’re so big!!!”  I think he paid her extra to say that.

He spanked her a few times. She seemed to like it. I ate popcorn and watched it twice. The footage was dark and low-quality. I told him I had a video for him and he got very excited.
I sent him a Snapchat of me using the man filter.
I looked just like Fabio.  He was quite disappointed, but still wanted to know if I was wet yet. I haven’t responded. It’s been months.